Episode Summary
In this episode, we dive deep into the psychology of narcissistic abuse — what it is, how it shows up, and how to recognize the subtle tactics that keep survivors feeling trapped. We’ll also explore the neuroscience of emotional manipulation and practical strategies for reclaiming your sense of self.
1. Understanding Narcissistic Abuse
- Definition: A pattern of emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical control and exploitation.
- The Mask Metaphor: Narcissists often present a charming, confident exterior — but it’s a crafted persona to gain trust and influence.
- Why It’s So Hard to Spot: Abuse is often disguised as “love,” “concern,” or “helpfulness” at first.
2. The Neuroscience of Manipulation
- Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn: How abusive dynamics keep your nervous system on high alert.
- Trauma Bonding: Cycles of idealization and devaluation release dopamine and cortisol, creating a biochemical “addiction” to the relationship.
- Gaslighting and Memory: Chronic manipulation can literally rewire how your brain processes reality.
3. Common Red Flags
- Excessive charm followed by subtle criticism.
- Withholding affection as a form of control.
- Triangulation — pitting people against each other to maintain power.
- Constant shifting of blame.
4. Breaking Free
- Education First: Understanding the abuse dynamic removes its power.
- Regulating the Nervous System: Grounding exercises, breathwork, and somatic release.
- Boundaries: Clear, consistent limits — even if that means going no-contact.
5. Key Reflection Questions
- When do I feel most “off balance” in this relationship?
- Have I noticed patterns of idealization followed by sudden withdrawal?
- What would change in my body and mind if I no longer needed their approval?
Listen to the full episode for in-depth stories, neuroscience explanations, and practical exercises.
🎧 https://open.spotify.com/episode/1IHvdJjMQnHIXRmtQ1EF0V?si=AxOGZk_jRxCTg9ENP1tx_g
Island Coconook 
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